[ The more time Dokja finds himself with, the more ideas that spring to mind, each one stupider and more reckless than the last. He doesn't know or understand why he's panicking so much about this kiss in particular, and that, in turn, makes the panic even worse.
He swallows nervously, unable to meet Joonghyuk's eyes and opting to instead stare at his (broad) chest. ]
I won't.
[ But the slight tremble in his voice makes it obvious he's not quite sure he believes himself, especially not when that same nervousness shows itself in the clamminess of his palms, in the way Dokja's shoulders stay stiff and tense. With the moment nearing, his thoughts begin spiraling, and what he hadn't wanted to face earlier now comes bearing down at him with a crushing guilt. ]
... You're really okay with this? You have to... with me.
[ His voice drops off to something weaker, uncertain. They haven't talked about it at all, but Dokja thinks about it constantly. The part that he's played in Joonghyuk's miserable life, the way he'll never be able to make amends for it, and maybe it's because they're finally alone together for the first time in a long while, but he hates that these feelings crop up now of all times. ]
no subject
He swallows nervously, unable to meet Joonghyuk's eyes and opting to instead stare at his (broad) chest. ]
I won't.
[ But the slight tremble in his voice makes it obvious he's not quite sure he believes himself, especially not when that same nervousness shows itself in the clamminess of his palms, in the way Dokja's shoulders stay stiff and tense. With the moment nearing, his thoughts begin spiraling, and what he hadn't wanted to face earlier now comes bearing down at him with a crushing guilt. ]
... You're really okay with this? You have to... with me.
[ His voice drops off to something weaker, uncertain. They haven't talked about it at all, but Dokja thinks about it constantly. The part that he's played in Joonghyuk's miserable life, the way he'll never be able to make amends for it, and maybe it's because they're finally alone together for the first time in a long while, but he hates that these feelings crop up now of all times. ]