KENOS ✦ COMMUNION

[regression]

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there may be spoilers in threads with dokja and sooyoung for late novel.

Comments

as soon as yjh is not sludge-ified and can communion

[pyojeol]

[though fun fact hsy would have tried mindblasting several times before that but maybe this time it FINALLY GOES THROUGH!! unfortunately, han sooyoung's communion messages takes the form of her voice, stridently loud as usual.

also unfortunately it's like stream of consciousness because she's still trying to get the hang of it]

yoo joonghyuk you bastard where the HELL are you are you DEAD why weren't you at the underwater cave place shit i thought i said tO GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT WHERE DID YOU WAKE UP ACTUALLY WHERE ARE YOU NOW??

[regression]

[ Unfortunately, Joonghyuk really struggled with the sludge, so her communion attempts probably failed because of that despite her knowing he's here.

He doesn't quite have the time to decide he wants to accept this or not, but he remembers her... And he doesn't reject Sooyoung. While he's willing to answer her questions: ]

You're being loud. [ This too: ] And slow down.

[pyojeol]

[!!! there's a surge of surprise at not being ghosted, she'll cherish this moment

that and an immediate sense of frustration, tempered by her relief that he picked up at all and that he's not LYING IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE??]

Yoo Joonghyuk!

[SHE'S SO LOUD... but she dials it down, trying to get the hang of this. hearing yjh's voice in her head is also so weird,]

You know how long I've been trying to reach you? What happened?!

[regression]

[ He's not lying in a ditch somewhere! Fortunate enough, based on the emotions, he's in a comfortable position.

There's a simple way to respond to this! ]

I ended up in Achamoth.

[pyojeol]

[w-

WHAT?]

[regression]

[ .......... ]

We're on opposing sides.

THE WAY I FORGOT TO PUT 2/2

[pyojeol]

[.......................]

Why.

after hsy spills the beans

[salvageable]

[ The reach that comes across is tentative at first, distress interlaced with the hesitance, and then it grows a bit bolder once the initial few seconds pass. After all, this is Yoo Joonghyuk... He's been here once before, but they'd kept their distance from each other at the time. Now, hearing that the Kenoma have him, Dokja can't just ignore that. ]

Yoo Joonghyuk.

[ Just the name sends a crushing wave of guilt over him and he can't bury it like he normally would. No, this time it thrums through their connection and Dokja stalls for a moment to try and keep it under control.

He should have been the one to meet Joonghyuk at the shrines. ]

We're going to come get you, okay?

[regression]

... Who are you?

[ Joonghyuk knows who this is. He knows this voice. And he's familiar with this presence no matter how faint it is.

Still, the memory of what he saw before arriving to that liminal space—it stays with him. How frail and fragile the child-like figure was in his arms, never opening his eyes, that stays with him. How he saw those familiar fables float away, glowing and escaping that train car, leaving them with a shell of a person, that stays with him. The expressions of desperation and despair on their companions' faces when they learn the outcome of their hard work, this ruthless journey, stays with him.

The mocking words of that stupid wall stays with him, etched into his heart that they would be miserable. All of them were damned to be unhappy for as long as they live.

The answers to his questions, unanswered. Joonghyuk and the rest of their companions were left in their misery to piece together what could be Dokja's intentions and feelings... To figure out what they will do after this failure. How will they wake up every day, moving forward, knowing for all of their suffering that they failed.

And now he's hearing that voice. The last he remembers hearing it was from Dokja's avatar, mere pieces of him left for them to settle. This voice reminds him of the truth and lie in that train car. Rightfully, he's angry. ]

[salvageable]

[ It's not the response he expects to hear, but it's the one he knows he deserves. It cuts deep, to the very core of him, and Dokja's left wavering on the other side of their flimsy connection. He can feel the anger directed at him, the way it hits like a punch to the gut. And even that, he deserves.

But no matter how angry Yoo Joonghyuk is, Dokja stumbles on forward. ]

You know who I am.

[ Don't do this now, comes the silent plea. Joonghyuk can be upset with him as much as he wants, as long as he wants, but what Dokja can't allow is for him to remain with the Kenoma. Their poison is potent and even now, he can vividly remember the way it seeped itself into him, how tempting its call had been as it beckoned him to a darkness he's all too familiar with.

He can't watch the same happen to Yoo Joonghyuk. ]

You don't belong there. We can talk once you're out.

[regression]

... Why is it always up to you to decide?

[ That is a question he didn't want to ask, but he doesn't have a handle on communion yet. The question, purposely asked or not, is still real. Dokja had always decided what was best for them, what course of actions they should take, and it had led to their survival. But he also thought himself to know everything... To believe that they could only survive from his sacrifice.

Joonghyuk is tired, sad, and mad. Sometimes you are just all of those things. Hearing Dokja's voice who sounds like he has a plan brings back memories, sorrowful ones that hurt. ]

The Regent made an offer.

[ Sooyoung told him Pleroma offers nothing, basically. ]

[salvageable]

[ Damn, they really fed Joonghyuk the Kenoma Kool-Aid and Dokja was too busy being dead to do anything about it...

He's stunned into silence, parts of him wanting to argue that it's because of his decisions that everything's worked out the way it has, that the scenarios are over, that the Star Stream is gone, but he holds his tongue. Saying such a thing won't help his situation now. ]

The Regent is lying to you.

[ The way Dokja has also done countless times, but it's different, isn't it? He has to think so. ]

They made you drink something, didn't they? It's messing with your mind. You're not thinking straight.

[regression]

[ Very smart choice, Dokja. It might save him the depression from having to hear Joonghyuk say that they would have rather fought by his side and died with him than be left to survive with only their memory of him. Good dodge. It would not help the situation... It would only make Joonghyuk more upset. ]

Even without that vial, I would take the gamble. If they're lying, I'm left with nothing. If I side with Pleroma, I'm left with nothing.

[ Joonghyuk: in the end, it doesn't even matter. However: ]

If the Regent isn't lying, I can rewrite our conclusion.

three days before the raid

[pyojeol]

[a ping! in the communion mindscape...]

Yoo Joonghyuk.





[this is at like three am]

[regression]

[ HeLLO

HE HANGS UP

communion call him again. ]

[pyojeol]

[BINCH!!! PICK UP!!!]

Yoo Joonghyuk, you bastard -- I know you're awake!!!

[regression]

[ GOD!!!!!!!!!! ]

It is the middle of the night.

[pyojeol]

[hehehe]

Wow. Is your big, fancy bed that comfortable? Were you sleeping that soundly after hanging out with your Kenoma pals?? Must be nice.

[regression]

If you’re suffering dirt as a bed, that isn’t my fault.

shortly after she made dokja cry

[pyojeol]

Yoo Joonghyuk.

[um what do u do when u messed up, asking for a friend aka her]

What do you do all day?

[nailed it, also go to sneep hei]

wow

[regression]

[ You think he's going to fall for her bait? He does important things, which he knows she knows, so he chooses not to answer such a stupid question. ]

What do you want?

look,,,

[pyojeol]

[why does yjh never do what she wants him to.... fatal flaw....

there's a long silence as Sooyoung struggles whether or not to answer, the pulse of her emotions muted but present,]

...Have you guys talked at all about Horos?

[regression]

What do you think?

[ Does Dokja ever talk to him about his personal thoughts? ]

[pyojeol]

[SHE HATES IT HERE]

He's so annoying! Like fine, I don't care if he doesn't tell me anything or whatever -- [SHE CARES A LOT ACTUALLY] but he can at least stop feeling bad about it!!

[regression]

You know he won't.

[ And that's frustrating enough for them. They've tried... Many things, haven't they? They've chased him through time. (what about communicating, you stupid bitches)

It's difficult. He wishes he could handle this calmly and carefully, but Joonghyuk is aware that he and Sooyoung are broken without sign of healing. There's resentment built alongside love, held on for how many years they suffered hell again for Dokja. They haven't reached their ending... What they may want to save may not be what they want.

They may return home with nothing, so to speak to the other half they've been missing is heartbreaking. To put up walls and be separated is difficult to bear. They're at the end of their rope. ]

... Do something nice for him.

[ Once in a blue moon, Joonghyuk is normal. ]